National
Compliments Day is a great opportunity to make someone smile, better their day
and promote positive connections with those around us! But are random,
off-the-cuff compliments (or compliments for compliments-sake) really that
helpful? And what are we really complimenting?
What messages are our words sending?
We
as women almost always instinctively compliment girls' and other women's
clothes/outside appearance. Though intended as a kind offering, these
compliments reinforce to girls (and women) what it often seems, that our
culture values most about them.
Instead,
of complimenting a girl on her sparkly shoes or adorable dress, what if we ask a girl what she's reading? What does she like or dislike about the
book? In doing so, we get the girl
talking about what's really important. We show her that we take her ideas and
thoughts seriously. And in doing so, we model what smart women think and care
about.
Want
to compliment her? Call out the clever
way she responded to a problem. The kind way she helped a friend.
If
it's true, tell her you think she's fun and funny!
Girls
and most kids see through inauthentic compliments or praise. When a compliment
doesn't feel sincere, it gives us pause. It makes us wonder, why did they say that? What was their motive?
When
a compliment or mention feels authentic, it feels great that someone else
noticed.
At
Girl Scouts, we know there is so much more to girls than their external
appearance. On this Compliments Day, let’s commit to switching it up and
consciously compliment girls on those characteristics we value in them and want
to boost—those characteristics that we want her to notice in herself and value,
too.
