“Valentine’s Day, at its core is about friendship and love, and that’s a good thing,” she says. But of course, if your girl is bringing them to school, to a soccer match, or to her Girl Scout troop meeting, she should bring them for all the children—not just those she’s close friends with. “Singling a few friends out gets awkward and can hurt feelings, which is why most schools and teachers actually have rules about this type of thing,” she adds.
The best thing about this holiday, Dr. Bastiani Archibald says, is that it’s not about big gifts or huge displays—it really is simply about little tokens of kindness and friendliness. And while of course store-bought cards will do the trick, Valentine’s Day is also a wonderful opportunity for your daughter to get creative, making her own cute cards and notes to distribute.
What to do if someone brings Valentines for most of the class, but she didn’t get one and feels left out? Assume the best of intentions. There may have been a mistake (especially if Mom or Dad was up into the wee hours the previous night making sure all those little cards were ready to go). That said, if you have reason to believe another child purposefully didn’t give your girl a Valentine to be mean or spiteful, and your daughter is feeling very hurt, talk it over with her and then think about asking the teacher to set up a conversation between the two girls. Who knows, a real friendship could come out of this little glitch and prove once again that Valentine’s Day really can bring people together.